Leadership Starts with Responsibility
Few things have taught me more about myself and life than soccer. While playing, I learned to work with others in pursuit of a shared goal–how to be a good teammate, when to follow and when to lead. Now, as a coach, I’m learning more about leadership on the sidelines than in any other context.
Early on, I figured out that being the coach doesn’t guarantee players will follow my lead or buy into my vision. Similarly, being in a leadership role doesn’t automatically make someone a leader. Leadership isn’t about authority; it’s about responsibility. This can play out in two key ways:
First, leaders accept responsibility for the outcome—holding people accountable without pointing a finger and also giving credit where it's due. Second, and perhaps most importantly, leaders accept the responsibility of caring for those in their charge; their success and well-being.
As a coach, the score is out of my control. I don’t get to perform in matches, and there are forces outside of my control that determine the outcome of the game. Every leader is faced with the same realization.
Ultimately, the team is charged with delivering the outcome of what they’re responsible for. Knowing this as leaders, our focus should not be on the outcome but on empowering the team to deliver their best.
Previously, I talked about the role of empathy in this. Additionally, being an effective leader and bridge builder requires understanding human nature and the unique experiences of each person on your team are crucial.
UNDERSTANDING HUMAN NATURE
As human beings, we are predictably irrational. While we are unique, complex and difficult to fully understand, there are many things that we have in common, regardless of who we are and where we come from. Most of us crave a sense of control, autonomy and freedom. We want to feel safe and cared for. We love the feeling of making progress. We want our individuality to be acknowledged while also seeking belonging. We aspire to find love, passion, meaning and purpose. We appreciate acknowledgement and recognition. We respond well to incentives, as long as they are aligned with our needs, ambitions and aspirations. These are some of the many things to keep in mind as you get to know those you lead.
UNDERSTANDING THE INDIVIDUAL
Within the similarities that bind us as humans, there are billions of unique variations that apply to each person. The only way to recognize and understand them is to get to know people individually.
When you lead small teams, you’re able to know the people in your charge. Whether it’s through individual meetings or social events, it’s easy to get to know people if you choose to invest the time and attention it requires. While it can be more challenging when leading bigger teams, the focus and intent should be the same.
Technology is one way to help you achieve personalization at scale. While it may be impossible to know everyone at a large organization, make it a point to know your direct reports—their strengths and weaknesses, their hopes and aspirations, their family situations, their passions and hobbies, and even their upbringing.
The paradoxical thing about leadership is that you are ultimately responsible for an outcome that you’re not always able to influence directly. You depend on the talent, work ethic and commitment of others to achieve the outcome. You don’t really control the result, and any attempt to directly affect the “score” usually leads to frustration or bad behavior. Success is only possible if you understand, care for, support and improve the people in your charge. Accepting that responsibility and fulfilling that role is ultimately what leadership is… it’s empathy in action.
