Taylor Townsend & the Power of the Relational Pause

This past weekend, the tennis world and social media lit up after Jelena Ostapenko’s problematic as well as inaccurate comments about Taylor Townsend following her loss at the US Open. What stood out most to me, though, wasn’t the controversy itself, but the way Taylor chose to respond. She gave us a real-life master class in what we at Bridge Builder call the “Relational Pause.”

In her post-match interview, Taylor shared how understanding Jelena as a fellow competitor, along with context from their previous encounters in the sport, helped her set realistic expectations, which equipped her to respond as she did.

Now, I don’t know Taylor personally, but I can imagine a whole lot of alternative responses probably ran through her mind. Because if someone had been pointing in my face, shouting at me after while coming down off of a competitive high, let’s just say, the pause might’ve been a little delayed. Whew! Have you ever been in one of those moments where you can literally feel your temperature rising? My therapist calls it “Flooding”. The knee-jerk reaction starts moving before your brain has even caught up. And yet, Taylor stayed grounded. She didn’t just win the match, she won the moment.

That’s the kind of leadership we talk about with the Relational Pause. It’s the ability to hold your center when everything around you is trying to pull you out of it. Whether on the tennis court, in a tense meeting, or dealing with conflict in our communities, taking the time to listen, observe, and understand others can equip us to respond with grace, not just react emotionally.

Just because you understand these principles, it doesn’t always make situations easier. In fact, sometimes it makes it harder. But it does give you a sense of steadiness. Taylor’s ability to respond with composure, to be authentic and honest without losing her cool, is something we can all learn from. It’s about building bridges of understanding and choosing to lead with intention. Whether it’s a teammate at work or the world watching, someone is always paying attention, and hopefully, learning what it looks like to show up and lead well.

So let’s carry that lesson forward. We all have opportunities, big and small, to pause and respond as an Authentic Relational Leader.

🥂 Congrats, cheers, and thanks to Taylor!